Big, Black and Veiny, Trust Us… It’s Not What You Think

7 months ago
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Marvel has finally come to terms that many of their previous films suck ass. Maybe that’s why they are finally going out on a limb to make a new R-rated film focused around Spiderman’s arch nemesis Venom.

Who else would I be talking about when I say Big Black and Veiny? And this time, Eric Foreman will not play the role of Venom. Sony is also said to take the reigns on the film since Marvel has made some big mistakes in previous films.

Venom

I mean who would ever considerTopher Grace? No pot smoking hippie should ever be cast in the place of Eddie Brock. Did they even read the comics?

I mean look at this image to the left… How could anyone ever conceive this of being Venom?

Let’s look at the facts about Venom…

From the older Venom, the one we all love… Venom is a huge beast. He’s a monster plain and simple. Second, Eddie Brock a was jock to the core. And, Venom is mean as hell. Eric Foreman couldn’t even stand up to his girlfriend Donna.

Now, let’s talk about what Venom is not. He’s not a skinny bitch. He’s not a pot-smoking hippy. And unlike in the movie, he doesn’t suck. He also never drove a Vista Cruiser. In reality he is arguably one of the most violent ruthless killers in the Spiderman series. By the way, it is confirmed on almost every website that the movie will definitely be R-rated and released in 2018.

It’s crazy too, because some fans on Twitter and Facebook were actually contesting that the movie should not be rated R. I have no idea what motive that have for their distaste in violence and foul language. But from the recent slew of movies in the Marvel Universe, I think it’s a great idea. Logan and Deadpool rocked. And it’s safe to say, that an R-Rated Venom Film will be badass as well. PG-13 is not in the nature or best interest of Venom.

Of course, everything depends on who Marvel gets to play the role of Venom. If they follow in the footsteps of the previous Spiderman films the movie will most likely be shit. And after scouring the Internet, I’ve compiled a list of actors that other sites say could be potential candidates. I seriously doubt most of the actors as being realistic, but you never know.

Some of the predictions on who will star as Venom from other websites are as follows:venom

  • Zach Effron from Dirty Grandpa
  • Sterling Beauman from Law and Order
  • Dylan O’Brien from the Maze Runner
  • Luke Benward from How to Eat Fried Worms
  • Ryan Kwanten from True Blood
  • Tom Felton Draco Malfoy
  • Tom Hardy from Mad Max Fury Road
  • Mike Mizanin from WWE
  • Brock Leznar From UFC

Come on guys, Draco Malfoy? Really… You may as well have Jona Hill as Venom. (Note the picture above) WTF? Are you serious, that would never work and if Marvel cast a majority of these actors I will cry. I would rather shoot myself in the foot with an arrow then see half these guys cast as Venom. Tom Hardy could be a good potential candidate, he played Bane and Bane is massive. He’s definitely got the skills to come of as brutally ruthless. ScreenRant made an April fools joke that Zach Efforn was locked in as Venom… HaHa. He’s kind of a pretty boy, not really to the standards of Eddie Brock.

Mike Mizanin and Brock Leznar have the size (and look at the meme below of Brock as Venom, slight resemblance). But can they act and how good? As far as looks go, you will not find anyone better suited then Leznar. The rest, no thanks. Marvel will either ruin the spirit of Venom fans here, or lift them from the depths of hell the last portrayal of Venom sent them to.venom

Let’s hope they get it right because it did only take them 6 movies to get Spiderman right. And that didn’t even happen in a Spiderman movie. (I’m talking about Tom Holland from Captain America, Civil War)

Hopefully Marvel will break the mold with the new Venom film.

There has been talk that the film could be focused around Flash Thompson’s role as Agent Venom. The character has been seen teamed up with the likes of Guardians of the Galaxy and the Secret Avengers. Thompson is one of the Peter Parkers long time classmates and has also played the role of Venom.

If other rumours are true (and I hope this one is), Cletus Kassady… AKA Carnage, will also be in the new film. If you’re not familiar with Carnage, think of Jack Nicholson in The Shining mixed with Venom, Spiderman and a vial of LSD. Yeah, if that rumour is true… There is a GOD.

As for the fans of Venom, everyone seems to be very excited. One writer at ‘CRACKED’ even goes on to say,

“Thank fucking Christ atop his Crystal Throne for an R-Rated Venom Movie. A PG-13 version would be the equivalent of wet penisless blanket.”

Dude mentions swollen penises at least half a dozen times by the way. A bit obsessed maybe? Definitely excessive, Venom never brought me the thought of veiny penises (as he put it). And he’s not alone, Spiderman and Venom memes are all over the Internet and most are very focused on sexuality. Just look at a this meme below about the web-slinger and Venom.

Venom

A for other sites, Cinema Blend has reported, recurring Spiderman movie producers Avi Arad and Matt Tomach will be working on the Venom film as well. The writers Sony is working with however are new to the project. At Exhibitor Relations, they state Scott Rosenberg and Jeff Pinkner will be brainstorming ideas for the film and working together on it. Scott has worked on films like Gone in 60 Seconds and Con Air. And Jeff Pinkner on films on the The Amazing Spiderman, Alias and Lost, just to name a few.

One thing is for certain, Sony and Marvel will be working together on the film, but Sony will be taking a majority of control. Keep your fingers crossed and pray to your powers that be, that Venom will be true to himself, and rip apart anything and every one who stands in his way.

Below is a video from Comic Book Cast with a little info about Spiderman numbers, and where Venom could go.

Please make sure to ‘LIKE’ ‘COMMENT’ and ‘SHARE’ on your favorite social media site. And keep your eyes peeled on It’sNoo because soon I’ll be doing an article about the Top Spiderman Memes online. It’ll be over the top, and probably offend some people, but it’ll be hilarious.

P.S. Here’s a little Venom BONUS for you Cosplay fans… I would love to see a Venom movie made with this girl and it wouldn’t be the kind you would see on the big screen. If I just offended anyone, how can you blame me… This is HOT!!!venom

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